Six Pillars Dr. Patrick Jeffs 8 minutes 20 seconds 1 00:00:00,700 --> 00:00:10,200 Here so 2 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:10,900 self-awareness 3 00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,500 is what is our ability to pay attention to our 4 00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:16,500 thoughts, right so camaraderie. 5 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:20,400 Kind of a thought kind of an emotion. What is our ability to pay attention 6 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:24,300 to our thoughts emotions behaviors, right? 7 00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:26,500 Because there might be this behavior that says 8 00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:31,000 let's pretend that Dr. Dustin was 9 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:32,700 the one that you felt camaraderie. You 10 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:35,400 might feel your behavior actually start to draw 11 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,200 towards him like oh, hey, I just I was thinking 12 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,100 about that time that we did that thing remember that that was 13 00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:45,000 awesome. Right our behaviors might draw versus if 14 00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:47,000 somebody and somebody mentioned it 15 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,400 when we were doing that exercise that like, oh you really closed 16 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,700 off today. Like what's that about? That might be a signal right 17 00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:56,800 to talk to somebody because their behavior 18 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,200 is a certain sort of thing. 19 00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:01,300 So thoughts. What is our 20 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:01,500 ability to? 21 00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:05,200 Be aware of our thoughts our emotions, which 22 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,100 we're not going to talk about. 23 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,500 Our behaviors and then be more self-aware 24 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:13,300 or to find moments to practice this a bunch of them are 25 00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:16,100 right here, right? I've put some of them up there 26 00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:17,500 interruptions distractions. 27 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,700 Fear of not getting things done. 28 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:22,600 right 29 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,600 a really good way to not take care of yourself is to 30 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,800 be afraid that you're not getting everything done. 31 00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:33,500 But you can imagine that that over time doesn't really 32 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:33,800 go well. 33 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,500 I also put up like on the professional side of your life. So professional 34 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:42,300 practice means on their professional side of your life. And then 35 00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:45,500 on the personal side, here's just some of these sorts of things but 36 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,400 more than these right I could have listed out 50 more than 37 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,200 these. I want you all to have conversations. We're not 38 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,400 going to do it right this second, but I want you to be able to have conversations of 39 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,800 what this would look like in your own life. 40 00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:00,600 What gets in the way of this how you can build and practices? So 41 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:03,300 like I said when we go into organizations, we're looking for 42 00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:06,400 moments like this moments where self-awareness should 43 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,200 be happening and doesn't and start to build those 44 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:09,700 in a little bit. 45 00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:17,800 So self-regulation is the and now 46 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,500 I know what to do about it. So the words haven't 47 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:21,500 changed up top, right? 48 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,300 I underline the word that change between self-awareness and 49 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:26,800 self-regulation. 50 00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:31,200 Self-awareness. What is our ability to pay attention to all 51 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,600 of those things thoughts behaviors most importantly physiology. 52 00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:38,200 The self-regulation piece is what is my ability to 53 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:38,800 change that? 54 00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:42,100 There was a lot of times when was a good 55 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:42,300 one? 56 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,300 oh when I had you all look around 57 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:49,400 right remember when I said look around and a lot of people looked at 58 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,400 each other there was this really magical thing and nobody 59 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:53,500 named it, but it was like 60 00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:57,300 One of two things happened giggling or laughing 61 00:02:57,300 --> 00:03:00,400 right? It's like ha. I remember that time we did that thing. Yeah, 62 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,800 right so like laughing so that was one. 63 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:07,300 But another one was there was this self-regulation that kicked 64 00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:10,200 on because we're around people that we appreciate and there was 65 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:10,300 this. 66 00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:16,600 Oh, right. I feel comfortable around you. I feel comfortable around you and 67 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,100 our system down regulated. 68 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,100 Automatically so when we're thinking 69 00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:26,300 about how to position this in the rest of our lives, what we're 70 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,700 looking is for ways to put this on autopilot so that 71 00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:33,400 all we have to do is set the conditions for self-regulation 72 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:36,200 in that case co-regulation to 73 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,600 take place. 74 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,300 Because the more regulated you are Jeff the more 75 00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:45,500 regulated the more opportunity you have to co-regulate 76 00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,900 with an owner. 77 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,700 Mental agility has to do with mental flexibility 78 00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:59,500 and creativity and you can imagine the higher 79 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,300 your stress level the less apt. You're 80 00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:05,100 able to Pivot and even look around you, right? 81 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:07,200 to say nothing of creating 82 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:11,600 creating Creative Solutions to you know, big systemic 83 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,500 problems. I can't imagine we never really talked about this but 84 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:17,200 how many pivots if any y'all had 85 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,200 to do once covid hit right? That's a moment 86 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,200 where mental agility really comes in because you 87 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,100 got to move quick to figure out how are we still going to do some of 88 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:26,700 these sorts of things? 89 00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:34,600 Strength of character also not gonna spend time any time 90 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,100 on that that really has to do with am I 91 00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:40,600 able to use the best parts of myself when I'm 92 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,100 supposed to use those right in the more 93 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:46,700 advanced. We are the older we get the wiser we get we're more 94 00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:49,500 able to deliver what a 95 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:53,000 moment needs instead of retreating back 96 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:55,700 to behaviors when we were like 12, 97 00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:58,600 right and getting disproportionately angry, 98 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,700 you know, just all of these kind of negative coping skills. 99 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:05,600 The more we're able to appropriately modulate our 100 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,600 stress the better we're able to pull some of these things out. 101 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,000 build and maintain trusting relationships 102 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,200 and that obviously matters in our personal life, but it 103 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,500 also matters in our work life. You know, when I think about how separate you 104 00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:24,600 all are from each other a fair amount of the time. 105 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,000 What I'm really curious is, you know 106 00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:32,500 moving forward from here, especially during 107 00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:34,200 and after covid depending on where we 108 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,700 sit how this can be leveraged. Right how we 109 00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:40,800 can better leverage connection between you all because I 110 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:41,800 don't understand what you do. 111 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,200 We could talk for years and I couldn't do it. I don't 112 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,200 understand what you do. I don't understand what you do. I can figure it 113 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,100 out in my brain, but you know him better than anybody. 114 00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:53,400 You all know each other better than anybody. 115 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,200 So how can we leverage that because this is a principle of 116 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,300 resiliency that says. 117 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,400 Jeff was talking about this, right. 118 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,300 If I'm if I don't say that, I'm not doing 119 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:07,400 good. You might be able to look at me and go your 120 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,400 full s***. We need to talk. We need to figure this 121 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:13,400 out and only because I have people that love 122 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,600 and trust me and it's reciprocal 123 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,100 that they can kind of call me out. That's the number one reason. I 124 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:22,600 married my wife because I knew that I would not get away with any b******* 125 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,100 for the rest of my life, and I needed that level. 126 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,800 Optimism and optimism is a number of things. 127 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,300 One of what and we'll talk about it a little bit but it's 128 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:38,200 basically how we make sense of when good and bad things 129 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,400 happen. Right a pessimist something happens and 130 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:41,800 they're like 131 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:44,200 something bad happened 132 00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:48,300 but it also impacts us when good things happen because 133 00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:50,500 if something if I was like hey 134 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:55,100 Oh, I thought I had 20 dollars to give you but it's just this right 135 00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,200 Versus hey, I appreciate the offer give it to me at lunch, 136 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,100 right? 137 00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:06,800 How we how we make sense how we interpret these the 138 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:10,600 bigger our stresses the more we are inclined did 139 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,300 not big stress like in our 140 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:16,900 capacity, but over threshold, we'll call it. We Trend towards 141 00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:19,700 pessimism. Right an optimism 142 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:23,200 is you know, expecting that good things would 143 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,600 happen. Right? So a highly optimistic 144 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,200 like the most optimistic response to that would have been 145 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:32,300 yeah, just get me at lunch or and and make 146 00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:32,700 it a hundred. 147 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,500 Wishful wishful 148 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,200 true we want to be based in reality. 149 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,400 Optimism optimism is also what is our 150 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,400 ability to take that in? Right? So if you're like, hey 151 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,300 Patrick cool shoes, I would be like hey, 152 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,500 thanks. They're really comfortable as opposed 153 00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:54,300 to saying. Yeah, my wife 154 00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:58,100 got him for me. I don't love them. Right. 155 00:07:57,100 --> 00:08:00,600 What is my ability to just take in 156 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,500 good things food? Right. Can we 157 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:07,000 like Savor a nice piece of chocolate or do 158 00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:09,800 I need to eat the entire chocolate cake, right. We need 159 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,600 to be able to like feel into good things the 160 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,300 higher stresses out of threshold. We're not 161 00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:17,800 able to even like sense what's going on?