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Session 5 of 6
We All Need Someone Sometimes: Professional Sustainability
Regulating in Relationships
My wife has always said, "There's nothing more healing in life than a healthy relationship." She's right. It's essential to our resiliency to have people in our lives that we trust. The science behind this is equally compelling.
Self-regulation is a learned skill. We are not born knowing how to regulate ourselves. At first, we only achieve this through movement, often rocking. Later, we learn to regulate from our caregivers. This never entirely goes away. We are continually assessing the people we come into contact with to determine if they are good role models for self-regulation. At school, these are often people who are open, supportive, and easy to talk to. While self-regulation is foundational, we also regulate with those around us constantly. When we are surrounded by supportive and well-regulated people, it is easier for us to regulate ourselves effectively.
The essential piece to learn is how we feel when regulating around others:
- Some make us feel calm.
- Some make us feel excited.
- Others make us feel frantic or confused.
Have you ever walked into someone's presence and immediately been filled with joy; or filled with dread?
- What did you notice in your body in each of these instances?
- Where did you notice this?
- What do you believe these sensations are trying to communicate?
This type of information can tell you a lot about how to manage many situations as long as you're open to receiving this information.
Download and Print the Session Five pages of the Workbook.
Connection
Connection is the competency of having strong relationships, supporting others, and having positive and effective communication skills. By having a connection, you can easily communicate with people and know how to help people feel better and support them. Building trust is the most essential component to building a connection with others.
Look back on the early days of your college experience. What was your model for building connection and trust with others? Often, this is not conscious but still remains valuable to better understand as you begin to imagine starting your professional career. The manner in which we build connections personally often has a striking similarity to how we manage this professionally. Frequently, we are seeking to fulfill some unmet, often unconscious, need.
Who are the people in your life who help you understand trust?
What is the best version of this for your future?
Utilize the skills of mind, body, and emotion when you answer this while noticing how this affects your self-regulation.
Complete the activity on pg. 16 of the Workbook.
Primary Takeaways
- Self-awareness can help you answer the question: "What types of people do I need in my life?"
- Self-regulation can help you maintain healthy long-term relationships.
Who are the people in your life that make you feel most like yourself?
What are some things you do to maintain these relationships?
Read and Complete pg. 17 of the Workbook.
Take A Deeper Dive
World renowned researcher, author, and speaker Brené Brown's breakthrough TedTalk on vulnerability made her a household name. Daring Greatly pairs wonderfully with today's topic of connection.